Collective Reading

What are you hiding from?

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Hello! So it’s that time where I’m pulling a spread for the month ahead.

I always look forward to these now and I’m so happy that I’ve been doing them and I’m also really happy that you all are enjoying them. I’ve been getting a lot of great feedback on these episodes.

So yeah, it just, it means a lot to me. And in fact, so something that would be super, super helpful for me and the podcast, if you have been enjoying these episodes or you just enjoy the podcast in general, it would be so kind and wonderful if you would leave a review on Apple or Spotify or just wherever you’re listening from. And to be honest, asking for stuff like that is actually really hard for me.

Me asking you all for a review is actually a form of exposure therapy for me. In fact, I’ve actually been working on this in therapy because it is something that’s forever a present theme in my life. In fact, recently, last week, actually, I had surgery, the second surgery I’ve ever had in my life, and accepting help. During a time where I honestly couldn’t even like get on or off the couch by myself, it’s actually really hard for me, which is frustrating, but I am working on it and I’m getting a lot better. This last surgery has helped me practice accepting help.

I did have a few days where I felt like I was going backwards, not with accepting help, but just like in the recovery process. And I attempted to start seeing clients a little too soon. And it was a bit too optimistic about kind of what I was going to be capable of.

So I did have to ask for help there. And honestly, like...only just now able to laugh for like a few seconds at a time without being in agonizing pain. So if anyone’s ever had any sort of like abdominal surgery, they understand what I’m talking about. So I’m going to try not to laugh too much during this episode. But yeah, anyway, long-winded way to say it would mean so much to me if you enjoy this work, if you would leave a review about what your experience has been like listening to the podcast.

Another update. Let’s see what else is going on. There’s a lot going on actually. Oh, I have the Summer Solstice Summit happening at the end of the month. Yes, which has taken up so much of my life the last several months, which damn, it came up so fast. I started planning this summit back in December, January, beginning of this year. And back then it felt so far away.

And now somehow it is in four weeks. So if you’re interested in attending that, you can actually use the code TTDPOD for a 15% discount.

So also the discounts are only good for three weeks, the next three weeks. So be sure to use that code before it expires. If you forgot the code, that’s okay. You can just go to the website, www.thetarodiagnosis.com/summersolstice. And when you go to the summer solstice page, there’s another, a different code there. It gives you the same discount. Honestly, just like having different discount code names lets me see where people are getting the codes from. So if you do get it from this podcast, it will help me know that you got it from this podcast if you use TTDPod.

So just to tell you a little bit about the Summer Solstice Summit, if you’re not already annoyed with hearing me talk about it or see all of my emails, also thank you for hanging in there with me.

You know that I am someone who I normally never...emails unless it’s the episode announcement or

I’ve created an offering. I don’t send a ton of emails. So even trying to promote something like the summit has been very difficult for me. So that’s also been exposure therapy. I’m just experiencing all kinds of things. personally, this year. So, but anyway, I digress. If you don’t know about the Summer Solstice Summit, it is a three-day event that brings together leading experts in the tarot world and the witchy world, and it offers workshops and presentations and ritual experiences, and it’s all virtual.

So we are bringing these experiences to you. You don’t have to leave your home. You don’t have to pay for a flight, for lodging, none of that. You can attend from the comfort of your couch or your altar, wherever you are in the world. And I’m actually kicking off the weekend by leading a workshop on asking better questions and spread crafting in tarot. And then Danielle Park from Oak Moon Tarot is going to walk us through elemental pairs in the tarot. Jordan Hale from Psyche Magic is going to explore the concept of magical motherhood. Cecily Saylor from Typewriter Tarot is going to help us embrace our creativity under capitalism. tarot as an ally. And that’s just all on Friday.

And then Saturday, we have Maria Alviz Hernando from, actually, she just published Tarot Tableau, and she’s going to be teaching us how to read tarot tableaus. And then Chelsey Pippin Mizzi from PipCards Tarot will be presenting on curatorial tarot and how we can create meaning in the tarot instead of just looking for it. Then Jenna Matlin, author of Will You Give Me a Reading? And then she’s also publishing The Tarot Book of the Dead, which is so exciting. And will be walking us through The Long Farewell, the story of our death from grief’s perspective. And then Alexander Kriech from Dogstar Oracle is going to be our resident astrologer. And he’s going to be talking to us about the...Beyond the Moon, exploring family dynamics and the fourth house in IC. And then we’re going to be ending Saturday with Meg Jones Wall from 3AM Tarot, who’s going to be presenting on tarot numerology. So that’s all Saturday.

And then Sunday,

we have Mehr Lungani from Chaos to Cosmos exploring tarot as a therapeutic language and how to integrate IFS and narrative therapy in our tarot practice. We have Victoria Smith Murphy, who’s going to be expanding on her work from last year’s Summer Solstice Summit on how tarot works, bringing the theory to life. And then we have Marcella Kroll, author of Healing the Liminal and then the recent Initiates Oracle. She’s going to be walking us through Bone and Blood, ancestor work for our magical practice and our spiritual path. We have Thomas Whitholt from Hermit’s Mirror, who’s going to be teaching us about bibliomancy and working with words. And then finally, we’re ending the weekend with Vaughn Postema and her engaging workshop on trickle-down tarot. Wow.

Okay. So that’s a lot. Don’t worry. The whole weekend is recorded and your ticket includes access to all of the recordings for three whole months. That’s something that I actually expanded from last year. I think last year it was... 30 days. I know it wasn’t three months.

So you’re getting an entire three months. So yeah, last year I noticed a lot of people had emailed and they were saying they needed an extension and I ended up extending it anyway. So I figured three months should be plenty of time. If you have to step away for a day or you know you want to attend, but you maybe can’t be there this weekend, but you want access to the recordings, all of that’s there. But your ticket includes so much more than just access to the event. I know, there’s just so much happening. I’m so excited. I love this and I hope that you all are seeing the value in all of this because there really is so much.

We were lucky enough to have some sponsors for the summit this year. And so I put together three massive...giveaway bundles. And so at the end of the weekend, I’m going to be giving away all three of those to three different attendees. And these bundles are sponsored almost entirely by Nicholas Bruno from Somnia Tarot. But we also have goodies from Hem Incense.

So yeah, you’re going to be getting signed tarot decks from Somnia Tarot, signed tarot books. Also, I’m giving away signed copies of Dark Shadow, Golden Shadow. You’ll be getting lots of incense and other magical goodies and some other surprises that I’m not sharing with folks. It’ll be, I don’t know, I like opening a box and realizing that, you know, there’s some surprises in there. So yeah, you have that to look forward to and everyone who attends will automatically be entered to win. So yeah, super exciting.

Another component that is included in your ticket is 30 days of free access to my private membership community, which I know I don’t talk about as much as I should, but I actually have an entire private membership community called The Symposium. And I host live monthly workshops in there. There’s discussion spaces. There’s depth-oriented tarot work.

We have book clubs, reading rooms. It’s just a really... lovely space with some of the most brilliant and warm and curious folks. And I just, I feel so lucky to be a part of it.

So, okay. So I think that is it for all of the updates for my life personally, and also the Summer Solstice Summit that’s coming up. So let’s go ahead and get into what this episode is supposed to even be today, which is the month ahead reading for June.

So because it’s June, I did want to honor the summer solstice. So I was putting together a spread that is kind of a nod to the experience of stepping outside of the dark and embracing kind of the light of the sun. We’re going to start by exploring what’s kind of been hidden and then end with what growth looks like. It’s honestly really a play on a spread that I created a while ago that I titled Messages I Avoid. I’ve just been thinking about avoidance a lot lately. It’s come up a lot in my therapy practice, so that’s probably why. Okay, so now’s the time to grab your cards if you would like to pull alongside me. I’m going to be using the Joie de Vivre deck.

It’s actually one of my favorites. It feels so perfect for this time of year. It’s very light and bright. It’s summery. It’s whimsical. It’s magical. All the good things.

And I have some really sweet memories with this deck. I actually remember exactly where I picked it up and the experience of choosing the deck, which is very rare for me.

I was actually in Flagstaff like maybe two years ago.

And I was at this lovely witchy store. I cannot remember the name of the store.

And I just felt so drawn to this deck. I kept going back to it and like picking it up and setting it down. And I was telling myself, oh God, I do not need another tarot deck. But I just like, I don’t know, I would look at it and then I would walk around the store and I would look at other things and then I would go back to this deck. And yeah, I finally left the store with it.

So I think the deck picked me.

Anyway, grab the cards that you would like to use. I’m going to read the spread for you now and then I’ll repeat the questions for each pool so you don’t have to try and remember exactly what I’m pulling for. And also reminder, folks who receive my emails get access to the spread and photos of the cards. A lot of folks will reach out and say, I want to see what the cards look like that you pulled if you get my emails. you would see that. So head over to my website, make sure you’re getting my emails. And yeah, we’re going to go ahead and jump in. So the spread is just three cards. I’ve been enjoying three card spreads lately. I feel like they’re kind of like the right amount of cards, not too overwhelming, but not too short that you feel like, you know, you’re still left with. questions.

So card one is what have I been avoiding or what have I kept hidden? Card two is what fear, belief, or need is keeping this hidden. And then card three is what growth becomes possible when I release this. So again, this is going to be a general reading. So I’m going to try to use words like we, us, our, and explore whatever cards I pull through more of a psychological, psychotherapeutic lens. All right, so we’re going to go ahead and pull for card one. What have I been avoiding or what have I been keeping hidden? Clearly, I couldn’t choose which one I wanted to go with for this one, so I used both. Avoidance and hidden. So what have I been avoiding or kept

hidden? Okay. We have the two of wands. All right.

What I’m going to do, I’m going to, sometimes I will interpret cards as I pull them. And sometimes

I like to pull all the cards and then give an interpretation. So lately I’ve been enjoying that.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

So card two is what fear, belief, or need is keeping this hidden or contributing to our avoidance. And we have, oh, interesting, the Eight of Swords. Okay, that feels fitting for that prompt. And then finally, card three, what growth becomes possible when we release this? And that is, oh, the Seven of Pentacles. How sweet.

Okay, so we have, we’re starting with the Two of Wands.

So what have I been avoiding or what have we been avoiding and kept hidden? The Two of Wands is interesting because, you know, it’s honestly one of my favorite cards.

And the way that we can read this card is actually pretty layered, especially when we’re thinking about it as a card of avoidance or a shadow even, if we’re thinking about aspects of it that we’re keeping. hidden because symbolically it feels like a card that’s very heavy with possibility. You know, there’s literally a globe in this person’s hand.

The world is available to us. Options exist. You know, what are we going to choose? But in this case, because I’m looking at this through a lens of avoidance, it kind of makes me wonder what movement has not happened despite the possibilities. that exist for us.

So I wonder if what is being kept hidden is not necessarily tied to lack of opportunity, but maybe tied to an avoidance or lack of commitment. Because if we think about it from... archetypal therapeutic standpoint, this person is standing in between two wands. We could look at this as, and this is a wands card.

So there’s a lot of creativity and desire and passion and fiery energy here.

So we could look at that as standing between what we are dreaming and imagining and in between what it looks like to actually take action on what we are dreaming and imagining. But they’re in between those two wands. So there really isn’t any movement happening. And so, you know, typically we see this as a card of planning and contemplating and, you know, researching and all this like consideration. And there isn’t yet a step forward. But I’m wondering, is there ever going to be a step forward? Is this... Representing analysis paralysis, you know, when we are faced with all kinds of possibilities and opportunities and ideas and desires, we can actually become pretty overwhelmed with the responsibility that we feel in choosing the right path, the right dream, the right desire, the right thing. And there’s actually a decent amount of research on decision-making and how when we are presented with an abundance of options, it can actually reduce our ability to take action.

And so here we are seeing this person holding a globe, which, oh my God, so overwhelming.

The sky’s the limit type of experience, which can feel really great for some people.

Decision-making research actually shows that it can keep us stagnant and reduce action, especially if we become preoccupied with wanting to avoid regret or wanting to avoid making the wrong choice. I see this a lot with clients, especially neurodivergent folks, and something that tends to ease...discomfort of the overwhelm of like the options of it all is sharing with like your partner, your coworkers, your friends, or really just remembering this yourself that being offered maybe like max three things or giving yourself three options, for example, is usually more helpful than leaving something open-ended or throwing a barrage of options at them. This also makes me think of some components of existentialism and how we, you know, well, for the most part, can choose our future. I mean, clearly there’s a lot of, you know, limitations and that’s a bold blanket statement to make. But from an existential perspective, like, you know, yeah, like we have free will and that can be both liberating and terrifying at the same time because... every decision that we make or choose takes us down one specific life path. And yet at the same time, choosing that path ends up potentially closing off other paths that we could have taken. And so there’s some like inherent grief that exists there.

And that can also keep us in between these two wands and feeling, you know, worried, like, well, what if I chose the wrong path? And yeah, I think that... can sometimes be the dilemma that’s embodied in this Two of Wands.

And it kind of makes me wonder if the figure in this card is maybe not just considering the possibilities, but maybe confronting the existential burden of freedom and of the concept of choice itself. Sticking with the theme of avoidance here, I also think there’s a little...of an illusion within this card at least as it pertains to the spread and I think the illusion is that planning is progress and I want to be careful with what I’m saying there because yes planning is a form of progress however it can also be a form of avoidance especially if you are only staying in the state of planning and preparation. And, you know, I’m actually thinking of the stages of change now. And, you know, when you’re like stuck in like contemplation and preparation and you’re not ever actually moving into action. And this can become a false sense of security in a way to...

Kind of protect yourself from the ambiguity that inherently exists within taking action because we never quite know what’s going to happen once we actually make a decision. All right, let’s move on to card two.

So card two was what fear, belief, or need is keeping this kind of hidden outside of our awareness?

So the Two of Wands was what was hidden, and that could perhaps be indecision, choosing to stay stagnant between these two wands. And so with the Eight of Swords, we’re looking at what fear or belief is the reason behind this avoidance or stagnation.

With the traditional interpretation of the Eight of Swords, folks often kind of center this idea of self-imposed limitations. But I think when we really take a good, hard look at the imagery here... then things can get a little complicated with that traditional narrative because, and I’ve talked about this a bit on social media where the figure in this card probably did not bind and blindfold themselves. Clearly someone or something else did that because the imagery just doesn’t sit well with that classic interpretation.

While the Eight of Swords definitely speaks to the role of, you know, cognitive distortions, thought patterns, and perceptions, I do think it also invites us to consider where those originated. And I think the origins of, you know, those cognitive distortions, thought patterns, perceptions, beliefs, narratives, you know, all of the words that we connect to the suit of swords. I think that’s where we can kind of swap the narrative with this card and say, okay, well, we didn’t intentionally bind and blindfold ourselves. Someone or something else did. And that’s what I’m talking about. Perhaps the origin of those limiting beliefs. So when this card appears in the position of this question, you know, what is kind of keeping this hidden? I am wondering, you know, if I go back to kind of the normal question that I apply to this card, well, who benefits from us remaining stuck or who benefits or what benefits our unwillingness or inability to make a decision? You know, who benefits from us being trapped in a cycle of self-doubt?

And I think this question shifts the conversation from... just kind of like pathologizing the individual in this card and shifts it more to a broader relational systemic influence because you know throughout our lives we are constantly receiving implicit and explicit messages about who we should be, what’s acceptable to think, do, feel, desire, all the things.

And also how much space we’re allowed to take up. I mean, look at this card. It is literally confining this person to a very specific space. And if we’re thinking about it through this lens that I’m talking about systemically or relationally, we’ve been taught to believe that we are only supposed to exist in this space. So then if we look at these two cards, Side by side, the Eight of Swords and the Two of Wands, the Joie de Viv deck is, again, it’s very whimsical, very beautiful, but it does take inspiration from traditional Rider-Waite-Smith decks.

But if we look at these, these figures are still in between and confined to something.

And I think that that’s important to pay attention to here.

There’s an experience of stuckness. There’s an experience of containment. That’s a better word that I’m looking for, containment. And so I’m thinking about, especially in families, relationships, institutions, cultures, communities, there’s often a level of reward for compliance and even more so a discouraging of disruption of the status quo become most uncomfortable when we are trying to change or when we are in this two of wands experience of perhaps making a new decision or moving away from where we are and towards something else.

We’re just making decisions outside the norms of what has already been established for us.

These folks are usually the same people who benefited. from us just remaining the same and going along with whatever unwritten or unspoken rules have existed. And I think this is why the Eight of Swords often evokes a lot of questions about personal and collective boundaries. Just like I was saying a moment ago, there’s also the saying that the people who kind of push back against the boundaries that we set are often the people who benefited when we didn’t have any boundaries.

And growth and decisions that promote growth. can threaten those established systems that have been created because anytime there’s any form of transformation, that requires a renegotiation of expectations, a renegotiation of how am I going to exist in this space in between these two wands or in these eight swords. And to go back to the two of wands as a form of avoidance. Often we will not choose to make a decision because we are worried about disappointing someone.

So our kind of staying stuck or staying where we are or not making a choice persists because we are avoiding discomfort. You know, we don’t want to, we don’t let somebody down. We’re not trying to challenge, you know, this set in stone narrative that we’ve existing in. Also, it might be scary to abandon the roles that we’ve been so conditioned to exist in, even if we’ve outgrown those roles and even if those roles no longer benefit us or support us.

And then with this eight of swords, I think the blindfold introduces another layer to this dynamic where we can start asking, okay, well, what’s... hidden away from our awareness? And how is that contributing to my decisions or lack thereof? What’s difficult to acknowledge?

From a psychoanalytic, psychodynamic perspective, we look at symptoms as emerging when aspects of our experience are left ignored, unexamined, the unexamined life.

And I think the blindfold represents that level of unconsciousness and lack of awareness towards, you know, any sort of internalized beliefs or relational patterns, cognitive patterns, that are operating underneath that level of awareness. So, the question is not just, you know, what am I refusing to see because the blindfold exists? It’s also, what couldn’t I see?

What was happening that, I was not aware of that contributed to my inability to make a decision. Okay, we are moving into card three now. So card three is what growth becomes possible when we start to release everything that we just explored in the two of wands and eight of swords.

And something that I want to point out right away about this seven of pentacles or in the joie de vivre deck, they use the term coin. So seven of coins is, so traditionally we see one figure In the Rider-Waite-Smith imagery, one figure kind of leaning against their shovel, looking at, you know, this bush with all these pentacles on it, seemingly waiting for something to grow.

And what we see in the Seven of Coins is a tree that’s sprouting. And there are these two adorable mystical creatures. They kind of look like, I don’t know, maybe deer. But they’re on either side of this tree that’s sprouting in the middle of them. And I love this imagery because if we go back to the Two of Wands and the Eight of Swords, earlier I was speaking about the experience of containment and how in the Two of Wands, this person is standing between these two wands, you know, the wands containing them. And then with the eight of swords, this person obviously like stuck in all these swords being contained. And then with the seven of coins, there is no containment. These figures are actually, you know, outside looking at this tree that’s sprouting. And I think that’s so sweet. And from an imagery perspective, to be able to move from those levels of containment to freedom feels comforting.

So back to the question at hand, what growth becomes possible when we release everything from the Two of Wands and the Eight of Swords? So again, with the Two of Wands, we had kind of that like potential hidden avoidance and then the Eight of Swords, maybe systemic, collective, implicit, explicit, learning, internalized beliefs that kept us stuck there.

And the seven of pentacles, I think, speaks to a lack of urgency that is actually really healthy.

Because in our modern world today, urgency is everywhere.

And rapid transformation, quick fixes are constantly being thrown at us.

Whereas I think the seven of coins depicts... the pausing and the examination that is really important when we are trying to make a change or when changes started to happen.

So when we go back to the two of wands and then the eight of swords, if we’re going to stick now with this like urgency, a lot of times people won’t make a decision or move forward or change because they know that there’s a whole process involved and they just want to get to the outcome.

They just want the end goal. And so they’re trying to avoid all the work that happens in between there, which I really think the seven of pentacles represents. You know, in this case, it’s two figures in the traditional imagery. It’s just one, but it does usually depict this, you know, kind of... And also this, I feel like admiration for what’s happening, this patience, this kind of knowing that there is a level of investment.

And I think in many ways this card challenges those dominant narratives and dominant pressures of life today where there is this expectation of immediate gratification, immediate change. You know, we live in... systems that reward speed and constant productivity and instant results.

And the seven of coins or seven of pentacles offers us something radically different than that.

I think it reminds us that meaningful change, meaningful growth, transformation unfolds slowly and intentionally. And I do think it’s important to remember that this growth, this change, this transformation tends to emerge when we are repeatedly practicing that which we have committed to. And to remember that there’s a process of gradual adaptation to newness.

And that repetition and that gradual adaptation is what leads to sustained effort and satisfaction eventually over time. Something else I love about this card, Seven of Pentacles, is that I think it’s also asking us to cultivate a relationship with the idea of becoming, with the idea of trusting the process. That’s a phrase that we use in the therapy world a lot.

We tell our clients, hey, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. You have to trust the process. And I feel like the seven of coins is very much a trusting the process card and knowing that the goal isn’t just the destination, but learning to be an active participant and fully engage in the experience of getting to where you’re going. Well, that is our spread for June.

That felt pretty heavy, honestly. I was expecting something kind of light and airy, especially because of the deck that I chose. It’s a very light and airy deck. So, yeah. That reading actually surprised me a little bit, but I do hope that it meant something to you. And as always, please let me know your thoughts. I love to hear what cards came up for you all.

If you pulled alongside me or if you have different interpretations of what I pulled, you know, leave a comment, send me a DM, shoot me an email. Yeah, I love learning from all of you and hearing what you have to say. And I hope I get to see some of you at the Summer Solstice Summit, June 26th through 28th. Don’t forget to use that code TTDPOD to get your discount.

And I hope that June treats all of you so well.